Should You Do a First Look? Here’s How to Decide

What Is a First Look—and Why It Matters

A first look is a private moment before the ceremony where the couple sees each other for the first time, away from the crowd. Unlike the traditional aisle reveal, a first look is often just the two of you (and your photographer, quietly capturing it from a distance). It can be emotional, grounding, and a chance to connect before the rest of the day unfolds. Some couples also include a first look with parents, siblings, or the wedding party for an extra layer of meaning.

Over the years, this modern wedding tradition has become a favorite among couples who want to slow down, ease nerves, and capture some of the most raw, heartfelt reactions on camera. There’s no right or wrong, just what fits you best. If you're on the fence, here are some things to consider.

1. Do you want to honor tradition?

For many couples, tradition still matters. The walk down the aisle—locking eyes for the first time in front of friends and family—is a moment they’ve imagined for years. If that emotional, cinematic reveal is something you’ve always dreamed of, then skipping a first look might feel more meaningful. Some couples even say that waiting until the ceremony made the moment feel more powerful and sacred. If you're someone who values that classic build-up, it's okay to stick with it.

2. Do you get nervous?

Wedding day nerves are real, and they hit differently for everyone. A first look gives you a moment to breathe, regroup, and feel grounded before standing in front of a crowd. It’s not just about the photos—it’s about the emotional reset. Seeing your person before everything begins can shift the tone from anxious to excited. It’s a quiet, personal pause before the whirlwind of the day really kicks off. For couples who tend to feel overwhelmed or emotional, this calm moment can be everything.

3. Do you want a smoother timeline?

Weddings run on tight schedules. A first look opens up your timeline, giving you a head start on portraits and group photos. Instead of cramming everything into the post-ceremony window, you can spread things out and avoid feeling rushed. This also gives your vendors—especially your photographer—more breathing room to capture everything beautifully and intentionally. It’s a win for logistics and for everyone involved behind the scenes.

4. Do you want to enjoy cocktail hour?

Without a first look, you'll likely spend most of cocktail hour doing portraits. That means missing out on some of the best parts: catching up with guests, trying the food, sipping a drink, and soaking it all in. If mingling with your people is a big part of what you're excited about, a first look can make that happen. It lets you fully enjoy the celebration, instead of spending it in front of the camera or coordinating family photo groups.

5. What’s the lighting like?

Natural light can make or break your photos. Depending on the season and ceremony time, waiting until after the “I do’s” might mean fading daylight—especially during fall or winter weddings. A first look earlier in the day gives you access to soft, flattering natural light, which is ideal for portraits. Talk to your photographer about the light on your date—they’ll be able to guide you on what time of day will give you the best results.

6. Do you want more photo variety?

When you build in extra time for portraits, you also give your photographer space to get creative. A first look allows for a wider range of shots—romantic, candid, editorial, whatever vibe you’re going for. Without it, you may feel like you're just powering through a checklist. If photos are important to you (and you’re investing in a great photographer), a first look can help you make the most of it.

7. Do you want more alone time together?

Wedding days fly by. Between guests, vendors, and timelines, you’ll spend surprisingly little time alone with your partner. A first look is one of the only truly private moments you’ll share all day. No one else is around. It’s just you two. Whether you want to read vows privately, share a quiet laugh, or just hold hands and take it in—it’s a chance to reconnect and remind each other what the day is really about.

8. Are you doing a non-traditional timeline?

If you're skipping the traditional ceremony format, doing a first look might be the perfect fit. Some couples opt for pre-ceremony dinners, vow exchanges before guests arrive, or even getting ready together. In these cases, a first look naturally fits into the flow of your day and can feel more authentic to who you are as a couple. Your wedding should reflect your relationship—and if you're breaking from tradition elsewhere, this might just be one more way to personalize the experience.

Final thoughts:

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. A first look can be emotional, practical, and incredibly meaningful—but it’s not essential. The most important thing is that it feels right for you and your partner. Whether you share a quiet moment before the ceremony or wait for the aisle moment, trust that your choice will be the right one for your day.

As a Hudson Valley wedding photographer

I’ve captured both traditional reveals and intimate first looks, and I’m always here to help couples decide what works best for their day. Every couple is different—and your timeline, location, and vibe should reflect you. If you're planning your wedding in the Hudson Valley (or beyond) and want guidance on how a first look could fit into your photos, reach out—I'd love to chat and help you build a timeline that feels effortless and true to you.